When First For Women Magazine first told us we would be featured in their Marriage SOS piece, we were really excited. Then we thought for a moment about telling the world all about our problems and the excitement level dropped a bit. After some discussion, we reminded ourselves that most marriages have the same problems: struggles for control, different personalities, hot button issues, etc.
At the end of the day, we are proud to share our struggles in hopes that it is helpful to another couple. Marriage counseling should not be the last thing a couple does in their marriage. It should be a tool used to fix something. In our case, we were stuck and could not figure out how to stop having what was basically the same argument over & over. Sound familiar? It took our therapist all of 4 sessions to get to the root of our problem - something we had spent hours & hours on and just couldn't figure out. For 6 months, we worked through our issue and came out much stronger on the other side.
If you and your spouse are having a repeating problem - we would urge you to try something different - a therapist, a book, a class - whatever it is - unstick yourselves folks! You will not be sorry you did!
There actually is some science behind the concept of putting yourself in another person's shoes. We can't quote actual research but we KNOW there's logic in it! This month, get out your chemicals, mops, brooms, rakes and start swapping chores. Its time to feel appreciated for all you do by watching your partner suffer through it all. No, seriously - its the other way around: YOU are to appreciate the other one by walking a mile, so to speak.
So this is the kind of month that you need to sit down and map out a plan for, because it would be easy for one person to suddenly have a lot of chores to do and the other seemingly have none. If one of you doesn't work, this is a sure thing. But there ARE things you both do and you could set it up so this is an even swap - not an unfair one. So pull out your checklists, to-do-lists and note pads people, its time to get down & dirty!
Debbie & Paul Lamb, Founders of Lambs On Love & Authors of "Be A Better Partner" - working to help busy couples improve their relationship one fun month at a time.